I hate Balloons

I actually don't hate balloons at all.I had to work quite hard to convince my 4 year old son William of this, once we had listen to the first recording together.

"Why don't you like Balloons Daddy?"

"I do. I was just pretending, to try and make a man in America laugh."

"Is he your friend, do you work with him, is he a lifeguard?"

"Err not really no."

" Why are you trying to make him laugh?

"Err I'm not sure now. There definitely was a reason, I just can't remember what it was."

The idea that I had rewritten, re-recorded, filmed and reproduced the 1980's pop song "Mind set on you." by George Harrison for a total stranger living in Brooklyn, New York who went by the Twitter handle "WTFDAD" would be lost on my 4 year old son. 

It was pretty lost on me.

Listen to the song "I hate balloons!"

I really don't like balloons

They tend to get stuck on roofs

I said I don't like balloons

I much prefer playing the spoons

parenting costs money

Constantly spending money

We'll soon be running out of money 

With all this plastic

I'm spending my time

My non existent time

It takes all my patience and time 

to blow up 

to blow up 

to blow up

to blow up

to blow up

these sodding balloons

I really don't like balloons

They tend to get stuck on roofs

I said I don't like balloons

I much prefer playing the spoons

£11 for a family meal?
was that included or did you steal it?
You don't appreciate who blew it
as you proceed to put a sticky finger through it

I really don't like balloons
Inflicting facial wounds
I really don't like balloons
I'd rather baby sit four racoons

Parenting costs money
Constantly spending money
We'll soon be running out of money
With all these Tee Pees

I'm spending my time
The non existent time

It takes all my patience and time 

to blow up 

to blow up 

to blow up

to blow up

to blow up

these sodding balloons

I really don't like balloons

They tend to get stuck on roofs

I said I don't like balloons

I much prefer playing the spoons

How about we make a deal 

No balloons for a Happy Meal

You don't appreciate who blew it

As you proceed to put your foot through it

But I don't mind spending money

It's mostly the Bank's money

It means so much more than money

That you're my child

I'm spending my time

Happily giving my time

It takes all your patience and time

To feed

To teach 

To help 

To Love

To raise your child

Yeah I still don't like balloons

Or film sets on the moon

Or dark Windowless rooms

Yeah not a fan of balloons

Or people who can't spell Tune

It's T- U -N- E!

Don't like balloons

SAY HELLO

Twitter @DadMissions2018

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Copyright James Macdonald 2018

True Amore

True Amore

Four years of marriage and several nights on the sofa has taught me many things. Here are some really key ones for any new husbands out there.
1) "Can you get milk on your way home?" actually means "Can you get milk and CHOCOLATE on your way home?" (unless you haver children the milk is the red herring it's all about the chocolate)
2) "The fuel light came on just as I was driving home." actually means "The fuel light came on as I was driving home last Tuesday!"
3) Keeping score on who is working the hardest really doesn't work or benefit anyone. Even if its not your job to take the bins out, do the night feed cook dinner just crack on and get what needs being done, done.

I've learnt you need lots of hard work,kindness,trust and a good sense of humour.

If you have those things I reckon you're golden. I hope you enjoy the song and please share and subscribe to my Utube Channel.All the best James aka The Middle Class Wrapper

Here's the link if you've lost the desire to read

A married man speaking the truth

There no stammer,

Marriage is more about work and less about glamour

When you hold in that smell till your wife leaves the room, that's amore

When you fill her glass first after a double crap day, that's amore

Alarms will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling, and you'll say "Bloody gate shift"

One quiet pint post Ju Jits turns to 4,5 then 6 she don’t Yella

lucky fella

When you closing the door for numero DUEH that's amore

When you go and buy milk when she’s passed the shops twice, you're in love

When all of your mates say you punch above your weight that’s amore

There’s a spot on your face she don’t say how’s your mate that's amore

In the sea when I swim that’s an eel I feel?  it’s a Moray

(That's amore)

When she plugs in your phone when she’s on 4% that's amore

(That's amore)

You don’t lose your rag when there’s no fuel in the car that's amore

You make her some tea when you’re dying for a wee that's amore

 You always buy chocolate when your sent out for milk that's amore

She gave life to your brood made your life really good you’re in love

When a life at her feet more dopamine than sending that tweet

 that’s amore

Scuze me but you in old Salta dean that’s amore

Click below to say hello 

Twitter @DadMissions2018

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Copyright James Macdonald 2018