"Everyday you get another go!" Featuring Sheryl's crow.

I've come up with a new word which is nearly as unlikely to take off as "Topdadding". I want the MC Wrapper songs I parody or create to be "Finspiring!"

It's a mash up of Funny, not fun that word is instantly not funny. I want the songs I write and parody to be "Finspiring." I want to create content that is both funny and inspiring.

I get people's attention by, oh I don't know blowing a raspberry or playing the guitar in a crow outfit and then I hit them with a bag of zen and leave them feeling hopefully a little bit more enlightened. Maybe also more likely to log into their gmail account and "subscribe" and maybe even buy a t-shirt. An article of casual clothing with a single unexplained word that doesn't really make any sense. Like the one in the image above.

The truth as I see it, is that I do think we only learn the stuff we need to learn for our next step when we are ready to hear and learn it. You wouldn't try and teach a 3 year old how to drive!

I hope you enjoy this my latest song parody and please can you hurry up and subscribe. 12 is really not a fair reflection for all the coffee I have had to drink or Twix's I have had to eat to stay up till the early hours to produce all this content.

All the best James aka MC Wrapper

When the student is ready, a large crow ( or just maybe a human teacher) will appear!

"Everyday you get another go!"

I used to work in a factory on the night shift

Just like a worker bee in a hive,

I put pens in boxes marked dark or light
Having my lunch in the middle of the night

Come on let’s go
No dress rehearsal 

this is your show
Do you need a push, 

Or a reason to go
This is your time 

are you missing your go?

[Chorus]

Everyday you get another chance
To take another step closer
Everyday you need to draw a line

A leap of faith before your closing time

I’ve got a daughter I call Grace bum
She was born on a Thursday night

Made me grateful turned our house to a home
More purpose and depth to my life

Come on let’s go
No dress rehearsal 

this is your show
Do you need a push 

Or a reason to go
This is the time 

are you missing your go?

Chorus]
Everyday you get another chance

To take another step closer
Everyday you need to draw your line

Will you take a step closer

Get a pen and draw a line

Please take a step closer

Set an example and draw that line

A leap of faith before your closing time

We’re all eating off a plates that look like hands

Stuck in the wrong tense constantly making plans

Don’t look back wondering what might have been

Your now is real

Your now is really happening 

Chorus]
Everyday you get another go
To take another step closer
Everyday you need to draw a line

Then a jump of faith over

GET A RULER AND DRAW A LINE

Don’t live life in a coma

Take on your life with a forearm smash

Like Navratilova

Everyday you get another go

Everyday you get another go

ONE DAY YOU WON'T GET ANOTHER GO!

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Copyright James Macdonald 2018

500 jobs!" (The bottomless Things to do list)

A friend of mine, I say friend we job share a stapler every third Thursday of the month asked me how becoming a Dad might change his life.

I said and I meant this completely,that in my opinion it will make you a much wiser, harder working, appreciative, humble, compassionate, driven and basically best version of yourself.

I also said that it will probably make you a much more tired version of yourself. Someone who always smells ever so slightly of coffee, haribo and pooh. You may also become mildly obsessed about getting your money's worth.

"Bottomless coffee cups!"

"All you can eat Brazilian BBQ!!!!"

"All you can carry compost!"

"Darling we live in a top floor flat!

"Doesn't matter fill your pockets !"

He tried at several moments to get away but I boxed him in at the water cooler. I went on to say there will also suddenly be someone, usually about the size of a large melon who gets to decide how much sleep and therefore energy you have to live on, forever!

It's like telling someone that there's this Dragon outside that we really need you to go and fight. But to make it a bit more challenging you're only allowed to have slept in 45-90 minute chunks for last 4-5 years.Oh and you have to do it having only eaten leftover chicken nug nugs, you're also not allowed to talk like an adult anymore you have to sing everything.

"Oh and we're going to equip you with a plastic spoon and a small Petit Filous yoghurt, okay?"

That said I know that if I was given the option of my life now or a life on my own and with a remote control fully armed Apache helicopter and a flamethrower I would always choose the no sleep, lots of joy, lots of comedy and lots of plastic spoons option because that is the best way I can see to get your dragon on it's back. 

I hope you enjoy the song.

James

I hope you enjoy it and if there is a song you would like me to parody or a particular topic please let me know at middleclasswrapper@gmail.com.

"500 jobs!" (introducing the bottomless Things to do list)

When I wake up

Well I know there’s gonna be

There’s gonna be an endless list of jobs to do

And in the morning

when I’m trying to have a pooh

There’s gonna be someone whose gone and lost their shoe

And if I’m showering

Well I know there’s gonna be

There’s gonna be a self diognosis of flu

Something to savour

I be savouring a breakfast just to have the chance to sit and chew

Cos when I’ve 500 jobs

They’ll be replaced by 500 more

I want to be a man who gets to sleep a whole night in a bed

not someone elses floor

When I’m working

Well I know there’s gonna be

There’s gonna be lots and lots of lovely texts from you

And on my pay day

When I’m paid for what I do

It won’t get spent on anything for me or you

When I bike home, when I bike home

I know there’s gonna be

The same request for milk and bread from you

And a cold shoulder

I if don’t realise that also means get chocolate to!

Cos when I’ve 500 jobs

They’ll be replaced by 500 more

I’d like to be a dad

Who doesn’t get kicked in bed

Or kept awake by my daughters snore

I’m exhausted, I’m exhausted

But apparently not as tired as my wife

I’m exhausted I’m exhausted

But I wouldn’t change a thing about my life

When I’m sleeping

I know I’ll be a man

I’ll be the man whose being crawled upon by two

And when I wake up

I know its going to be

It’s going to be the familiar smell of pooh

When I go out

Well I know I gonna be

I know I’ll be the man whose stuck to his phone like glue

pissed before 9.30 and showing people pictures of a zoo

Our family’s bi monthly trip to the zoo

When I’ve done 500 jobs

They’ll just be replaced by 500 more

left alone do a pooh and the crossword not seeing a small hand

appearing under the door

I’m exhausted I’m exhausted

But apparently not as tired as my wife

I’m exhausted I’m exhausted

But I wouldn’t change a thing about my life

I’m exhausted I’m exhausted

But apparently not as tired as my wife

I’m exhausted I’m exhausted

But I wouldn’t change a thing about my life

And I would walk 5000 miles

Topdadding and walk 5000 more

If you’re doing best

 You’re Olympic gold like Sally Gunnell

You’re probably also the light at the end of several tunnels,

Please come and say hello on Twitter,Facebook or Utube.

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Copyright James Macdonald 2018

"Sorry I'm wearing really squeaky shoes!"

The "urghhh whose dropped one! song link!"

One of the most reassuring farts, sorry, parts of life, alongside toast always landing jam side down, it usually raining on a bank holiday Monday and people always spelling my surname as if it's a burger selling shop... 

"It's bloody Macdonald not McDonald!"

Is that someone farting, trumping, popping, pumping, ponking will always be just as amusing when you're 2 as when you are 22,32,42,102 okay maybe not 102.

That raspberry noise, not so much the smell that follows, is a genuinely magical thing. It surely should have the power to unite us in the same way a smile or a dislike of injustice can. It's the universal language of funny.

If this song doesn't make the Middle Class Wrapper a household name across the globe by next Wednesday then I really don't know what will!

Try it now. Even with you being the most grown up, I've got two pensions, a really low cholesterol, a great relationship with my boss and my radiators bled three months early

version of yourself, just making that noise with the no smell option,should, if you're normal make you laugh.

If it doesn't I think you may need to go and see your doctor straight way. Either that or have a look in your spare trousers where I think you may have left your sense of humour.

I never had to explain to my children even at their earliest stages that this is funny.

It's just funny. Anyway I hope you enjoy it and if you don't you're probably taking yourself far too seriously.

Maybe go and read another book on dry stone walling or go and beat Oxford Brooks on University Challenge, again, boring!

I hope you enjoy it and if there is a song you would like me to parody or a particular topic please let me know at middleclasswrapper@gmail.com.

All the best James aka MC Wrapper

                                  "Covering my nose with one hand, I want to watch not read!"

"Trying to dodge your wind!"

In those precious quiet minutes,

Before I smell your trump.

That toxic pump,

From your stinky rump,

at the bus stop

Or in the queue at Spar.

The air all around me,

Well it goes dark green.

Short people scream,

my nostrils flare. 

As I try to dodge your wind.

At our end day ,pre bed story time

Sitting on my lap

I feel your braaap

Reverberating through your clothes and mine

For me to challenge you now

Would bring several lies

It’s burning my eyes

All I can do is try and dodge your wind

You can’t blame the dog

Cos it isn’t the dog

Cos we don’t have a dog

Stop blaming imaginery dogs

When you roll over and bowel control you lose

Any excuse you’ll choose

like squeaky shoes

Your vicious smell could surely

Turn me blind

Standing outside in the cold

Far from the piercing dart

Of a midnight fart

I go to great lengths

To try and dodge your wind

(Instrumental, mainly wind instruments)

Like Neo in Matrix I’m trying to dodge the wind

Please come and say hello on Twitter,Facebook or Utube.

https://twitter.com/ClassWrapper

https://www.facebook.com/MiddleClassWrapper/

Copyright James Macdonald 2018