Sunday Shed making timeline
09.00
Husband passes his wife a baby pretty much as soon as she returns from the gym.
09.05
Husband is quite possibly being dishonest when he says that he can't smell what is clearly a stinky nappy
09.06
Husband runs into the garden.
09.10
Husband ignores the ever so possibly (micro management style of his wife) advice to read the instructions and make sure the ground is level first.
09.16
In a clear act of defiance husband uses the shed instructions to remove some cat pooh from the decking and cracks on, quote unquote "like a middle aged shed building legend!"
11.23
Man's wife bring him a lovely calming (very wise) cup of chamomile tea and to observe his progress so far.
11.26
Wife can't hide her immense disappointment that the shed now looks like it's been modelled on the leaning tower of Pisa. They "discuss" the alternatives making sure that the door is shut and the kids can't hear.
11.28
Husband burns his tongue on near boiling chamomile tea!
11.35
Husband admits his wife's, possibly right, but does so really quietly, through clenched teeth, behind the shed where she can't hear or see him.
11.42
Husband nearly gives himself a hernia trying to move the now fully made shed.
11.48
Husband does what he should have done in the first place if he'd read the instructions and makes the ground level.
11.49-17.45
Man makes shed and starts to feel and look a bit like a shed making middle aged legend.
This song is actually not about shed making at all. I'm just enjoying learning about time lapses on my GOPRO and now can't do anything without feeling the powerful urge to Time lapse capture it.
Me having a very quick pooh (not attractive)
Me doing fast press ups (pretty much the same)
Me doing very fast and messy towel folding (no different that at normal speed)
Anyway as with all the other songs these lyrics were written by me,James Macdonald and are therefore subject to copyright. Please don't nick them unless you want to give me some money or a big cake.
Here is the link if you don't want to read the lyrics below.
The vital countdown
It’s 4 in the am
It’s cold and its dark
You should now be writing
Before doing laps of the park
Do the same and you just get the
same
Stop hitting snooze
(Hitting snooze)
Listen to Mel and it will improve
You need her vital countdown
Her vital countdown
Still only 2 Utube subscribers
And both are your Mum
How to make things viral
Without exposing my bum
With hopefully some decades to go
Can I turn it round?
Henry Ford invented cars aged 45
You need the vital countdown
Mel’s vital countdown
Mel’s vital countdown
(Instrumental)
“Yeah I would get up and go for a run but I’m coming down with a verruca and
I probably shouldn’t run on it?
STOP IT!
If only I had the time to get in shape
STOP IT!
Oh I would so go for a run but my lucky trainers are at work, I’ve only got
my spare ones.
STOP IT!
STOP IT!
Yeah if only I had better genetics.
STOP
IT!
Yeah I would do some writing but I think I need to be in the perfect
mental state and I’m still a bit stressed about taking that lawnmower to the
tip so maybe do that then start being a writing legend?
STOP IT!
If I was a bit younger I would go for it.
STOP IT!
Yeah I’m just too tired I should have done this before we had the kids.
STOP IT!
If I could just catch a break!
STOP
IT!
Yeah if the economy was better I would so go for it
STOP IT!
Mel's Vital countdown
Mel's Vital countdown
Mel's Vital countdown
Oh come on!
Just do the vital countdown
Stop stalling forever
Try the vital countdown
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James Macdonald Copyright 2018
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