One of the most reassuring farts, sorry, parts of life, alongside toast always landing jam side down, it usually raining on a bank holiday Monday and people always spelling my surname as if it's a burger selling shop...
"It's bloody Macdonald not McDonald!"
Is that someone farting, trumping, popping, pumping, ponking will always be just as amusing when you're 2 as when you are 22,32,42,102 okay maybe not 102.
That raspberry noise, not so much the smell that follows, is a genuinely magical thing. It surely should have the power to unite us in the same way a smile or a dislike of injustice can. It's the universal language of funny.
If this song doesn't make the Middle Class Wrapper a household name across the globe by next Wednesday then I really don't know what will!
Try it now. Even with you being the most grown up, I've got two pensions, a really low cholesterol, a great relationship with my boss and my radiators bled three months early
version of yourself, just making that noise with the no smell option,should, if you're normal make you laugh.
If it doesn't I think you may need to go and see your doctor straight way. Either that or have a look in your spare trousers where I think you may have left your sense of humour.
I never had to explain to my children even at their earliest stages that this is funny.
It's just funny. Anyway I hope you enjoy it and if you don't you're probably taking yourself far too seriously.
Maybe go and read another book on dry stone walling or go and beat Oxford Brooks on University Challenge, again, boring!
Maybe go and read another book on dry stone walling or go and beat Oxford Brooks on University Challenge, again, boring!
I hope you enjoy it and if there is a song you would like me to parody or a particular topic please let me know at middleclasswrapper@gmail.com.
All the best James aka MC Wrapper
"Covering my nose with one hand, I want to watch not read!"
"Trying to dodge your wind!"
In those
precious quiet minutes,
Before I
smell your trump.
That toxic
pump,
From your stinky rump,
From your stinky rump,
at the bus
stop
Or in the
queue at Spar.
The air all
around me,
Well it goes
dark green.
Short people
scream,
my nostrils
flare.
As I try to
dodge your wind.
At our end
day ,pre bed story time
Sitting on
my lap
I feel your
braaap
Reverberating
through your clothes and mine
For me to
challenge you now
Would bring
several lies
It’s burning
my eyes
All I can do
is try and dodge your wind
You can’t
blame the dog
Cos it isn’t
the dog
Cos we don’t
have a dog
Stop blaming
imaginery dogs
When you
roll over and bowel control you lose
Any excuse
you’ll choose
like squeaky
shoes
Your
vicious smell could surely
Turn me
blind
Standing
outside in the cold
Far from the
piercing dart
Of a
midnight fart
I go to
great lengths
To try and
dodge your wind
(Instrumental, mainly wind instruments)
Like Neo in
Matrix I’m trying to dodge the wind
Please come and say hello on Twitter,Facebook or Utube.
https://twitter.com/ClassWrapper
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Copyright James Macdonald 2018
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